Fascinating things

1. David's naked face
Every year or so, David shaves off his beard. I like to see how things have changed under there since the last time I saw his face. I've known this guy since we were 12 and I like to watch him age. So he shaves in sections and I get to see him with a pro wrestler handlebar moustache, then with a little Charlie Chaplin deal, then finally, just before the razor blade is shredded to bits and begs for mercy, the whole thing is gone. He slaps on some after shave, I kiss him, and the beard immediately starts growing back.

Today was a little different because Thomas was really wounded by the change. First of all, he'd voted that David should keep the beard "because he looks really handsome that way". Then after David shaved Thomas said his skin smelled funny. The poor kid's heart was broken. He cried for a good long time before we convinced him to go to sleep, clutching a picture of his dad with a beard to his chest. He plans to sleep with it until David's face is safely covered and order is restored to the universe.

2. Fumes
As mentioned above, the smell of aftershave can be a really emotional thing. For me, it's diesel. I. Love. Diesel. Fumes. I never mind getting stuck behind the slow truck on the highway because the fumes take me back to the times I spent driving my first car, an ancient forest green diesel mercedes. Life was good then. I loved those headrests.

And Jane added another smell to the list tonight when we were sitting in traffic and from the back seat she said with much feeling, "I love to smell gas."

Hmm.

3. Simulations

I am completely fascinated by those time lapse animations they use to sell acne medication, diet plans and cellulite cream. And it's a good thing because those three companies are particularly relentless. There hasn't been a time in the last month that I've gotten online without one of those animations popping up. And they never play just once. Over and over again the face lift lady's wrinkles melt away, then reappear and drag down her whole face, then quickly firm up again. No matter how many times I see it, I never get tired of it. And the disappearance of the horrible acne stops me mid sentence every time it appears when I'm checking my email. I don't even mind that it's **not actual images. Results are simulated. To my credit, I've never even been tempted to click on the ads or discover what the products are.

Still, maybe I've been spending too much time on the computer....